I am STRONG n FULL OF LIGHT!

Okay, self realisation moment! Yesterday, I realised something. How I was before (7 years ago). Okay! I was a total badass woman! And I'm quite surprised I'm no more that woman actually. I used to be very bold and out spoken. I remembered that my candour always makes people hurt and upset. Oh man!!! That was the moment I go through alot of things and it all made me less sensitive. Okay! Thinking about it, I think I was being defensive. Many people hurt me and I was just trying to protect myself from getting damage all over again. And now I'm a woman who is composed, patience, elegance and kind. I became an introvert now. Not sure whether it's healthy or not but yes. I like to be alone & do my stuffs. I read in net that when people hit 30s, they become an introvert person. Definitely, for some reason, it's the best thing coz I can find lots of time to read books. I have piles of TBR lists and it's keep going on. Hahaha...

 

Some Quotes from Haunting Adeline

 As I promised, here are some quotes from Haunting Adeline & Hunting Adeline. (Mostly from Zade Meadows).

“When you make someone fall in love with the darkest parts of you, there’s nothing you can do that will scare them away. They will be yours forever because they already love all the fucked up bits and pieces of you.”

“All I want to do is break her. Shatter her into pieces. And then arrange those pieces to fit against my own. I don’t care if they don’t fit—I’ll fucking make them.”

“If my redemption resides somewhere within you, then I will spend the rest of my life searching for it inside of you.”

“What you’re seeing now is what I see every day. No matter how far I run, how hard I try to escape you—you’re everywhere I go. You’re everything I see. Loving you is like being trapped in a house of mirrors, little mouse. And I’ve never felt so at home while being so lost inside you.”

“One day, you will realize that you are not trapped in a prison. You are in my church where I am your God, and you are my equal. I’m not a jail, little mouse, I am your sanctuary.”

"I'm going to burn the entrire fucking world down until I find her, and I don't care who gets burnt."

"And the reason I stalk you, little mouse, is because I want to. Everything I do in life is my choice. I choose my morals. I choose the ones that are worth saving and the ones that are worth killing. And I choose you."

"I guess I wanted to see roses all over your house, too. Maybe because you feel like home."

"And then Zade. The fucking wrecking ball of a man who has brought out such a burning fire within me that I crumble like ash beneath him. Yet, he made me feel so strong. So brave. He made me feel so damn loved and treasured. Just like a diamond. Although, Zade would never call me something as trivial and common as a diamond. He'd call me the rarest jewel on earth."

"But, you're the first one to have broken me first, Max. I can admit that. You broke me into tiny little pieces when you took Addie from me. Because of you, I'm no longer a man. "

"Baby, there are flowers out there that smell like straight ass. So sure, you smell like those flowers."

"Does this mean you're actually going to take my threats seriously and marry me?"

"Meadows, baby. Our last name is Meadows."

"My entire world revolves around you. If you want mint chocolate chip, then that's what I want, too."

"There was a young girl that I rescued a few years ago, and she wouldn't let anyone else touch her but me at first. She loves braids in her hair, so I learned how to do them for her. Got preety fucking good at it, too."

Regards,

Kalavathi

Goal In Life

 Today, I realised that how much I had planned for my life and when it fails, that's where I had mental breakdown. And instead of teaching, I had thought about becoming author / writer. Kinda insane, huh? Haha...I know. It sounds crazy. I know that I have so much of imagination in my mind and I need to write out all. Just like how I express myself...I always express myself by writing...I haven't think of a story yet. But I know it's gonna be fantasy romance genre. Haha...Forbidden romance! Oohhh! Hahaha... Speaking of goal, I chose to do Psychology course, so that I can understand humans better and help humans. Later on, I wanted to become counselor and teach students. Then, I worked as a preschool teacher to understand children better and to help them. And to become lecturer by finishing my Masters. Here I am, stuck as a teacher. I'm not really happy about. Okay, now I'm just being paranoid. I want to do something in my life. But the problem is I don't know! That's it.

Regards,

Kalavathi Raviraj

Current Reading

Today, I'm going to talk about my current reading book. I'm reading Hunting Adeline (Cat and Mouse Duet). This is the second part of Cat and Mouse duet book. The first book is Haunting Adeline. This is my current obsession kinda book. However, if you want to read this book, you have to read the TW (Trigger Warning) of the book cause' this book involves about human trafficking, child sacrifice, child abuses and very very very dark romance. Let's talk about this book. While I'm reading this book, I had full of roller coaster emotions. At first, I was really frustrated with the male protagonist of this book but in the end, I totally fall in love with him. This book has 2 POVs which are female protagonist and the other one is male protagonist. The female protagonist is Adeline Reilly, who is a successful author of horror and thriller books. She is a 26 years old woman who lives in her passed down manor by grandmother (Parsons Manor). The male protagonist is Zade Meadows, who runs anti-human trafficking organization called 'Z'. He loves to torture and kill people pedophiles and criminals who involved in human trafficking and etc. He saw Adeline in a book store in a promotion and instantly fall in love / obsessed with her. Later on, he started to stalk on her and leaves her roses where he clipped the thorns away. Awww...isn't that sounds romantic? But wait, as much as he is romantic, he is CRAZY as well. But crazy in a good way or at least for me. He's very possessive of her and approached her in unhinged ways actually. He did somethings without her consent but at the same drives her insane..Hahahaha....The second book is all about he was keep looking for her when the Society kidnaps her. The second book really breaks my heart because it was all about how they raped her, other women and how she overcame her PTSD. The sweetest part is he has been there for her. Without getting annoyed, he always stay there for her. With lots of patience. Argghhh God! I love Zade Meadows. I haven't finish the book yet. But yes, its a very dark romance and spicy romance book. I have alot of quotes that I love in these 2 books. I shall posted them soon. Okay gracias! Adioss....

Life Crisis Stage

I guess after long time I'm blogging. I used to write diary and blogging.. Probably it's been years. Welcome to my blog. My name is Kalavathi Raviraj. I am a 31 years old woman. Just a simple woman who loves reading, listening music, playing piano and day dreaming. I'm 31 years old and I'm in the mid-life crisis stage which is horrible. In fact, I started this journaling/ blogging coz I have so much of thing on going in my mind and honestly I don't know to whom I can share. I can write as journal but I prefer typing. Typing, typing, typing and that's what I'm good at. Haha..Okay, I'm engaged to Mr. Raviraj, the love and the Universe of my life.